100% Juices

everybody's hungry and we're short on gasoline

Hi there, The Internet. (Bye, The Internet.)
I haven't used this livejournal as a livejournal in a year or so, so I guess it's just time to admit that I am probably done posting here, probably forevers.  I still use it for checking communities and things (and porn and stuff, so... there's that), and I won't be deleting anything or changing any of my content settings because what's on the internet is on the internet now, you know.  But JUST SO YOU KNOW, this shit is kinda done.

If you're wondering what the future has in store, here's my best guess: I'm gonna go bake some cookies right now, and then watch shit tons of anime probably in the not-too-distant future, and then go live in Romania for a while. 

Catch y'all later. 

And if you need me, PM me or check my twitter -- it's not like I'm dead.

Pants are an illusion, and so is death.
Prince Zuko is basically my boyfriend.
Haha oh hey!  'Sup!  I haven't been on LJ in, um, a month, which is how you can tell that it's summer and I'm not trying to procrastinate on anything right now.

And I haven't really been online, or checked my f-list or my tumblr or even my twitter in that time, and actually I'm gonna go to bed instead of doing any of those things right now.  So if anything is goin' down... I guess I will be continuing in blissful ignorance for another day or two.  BUT if you've wondered what has happened to me or where I've been, let me explain:

Avatar: The Last Airbender.

It's not that I haven't been using my computer for weeks on end.  It's just that I've been using it to buy and then watch and then re-watch ATLA.  All.  Day. Long.

Also I maybe roasted some marshmallows and made some cupcakes and worked and drank port (!) during some of that time.  But mostly, no.  Mostly just Avatar.  Why? Because it is my life, okay.  Don't judge.  If you feel like you're about to judge, maybe just go watch some Avatar instead.  I promise it has nothing to do with blue aliens and everything to do with, um, teen feelings and destiny and elemental magic and stuff.  And if you're like, pfft, I HATE teen feelings and destiny and elemental magic and stuff, then can I just say... CUTE HYBRID ANIMALS.  AND ALSO PRINCE ZUKO MY NEW BF.

If you cannot tell, I have probably never fangirled anything harder.  Because, I don't know.  Because it was a show for eight year olds from 2006 that I didn't want to watch, and then my friends made me watch it and it turned out it was the best thing I ever put in my eyes, maybe.

And you can watch it online in handy twenty minute increments!  Right here!  THE BEST!

Thank you for taking time out of your day to consider this public service announcement for your soul.   Disclaimer: I'm a grown adult, really for realz.  And yes, I made this icon in four seconds, using Paint, and it shows.

It's the waffle report!
Good Monday morning, Internet.  How's it hangin'?

There's no new news; I just feel like I've been internet absent.  So here are the ridiculously domestic haps:

I got up at six forty-five this morning to make my mom waffles!  Either because I'm just that great of a person or because I just love waffles that much, I'll let you be the judge.  (Actually it was because I had leftover buttermilk from baking cupcakes a couple days ago--I am a cooking MANIAC lately.  Someday I will make someone the best housewife ever.  Seriously.  You wish you lived with me.)

Also, the other day I bought myself probably the most hilariously bad sunglasses I've ever owned.  They are huge drugstore-brand wayfarers with, like, blue and copper swirly translucent plastic frames; it is actually horrific.  I fully plan to wear them everywhere ever.  Especially in public with people who will be embarrassed about it.  What is it about spring that just makes me want to make terrible fashion choices?

P.S. the waffles were AWESOME, and check this piece of seventies waffle cred:
the toastess

Yeah, it's Toastess brand.  And yeah, you're jealous.  You guys, it makes pressed sandwiches, too.

Good thing I still have this icon that's nominally related to Dr Who?
fantastic - letsey_x

I am sitting in a coffee shop right now eating probably the most disgusting yogurt parfait ever made.  EVER.  It is so disgusting that I will probably be telling everyone about how gross it was all day long.  Maybe for the next week.  It legitimately tastes like earwax.

BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM POSTING ABOUT.  I am posting about how Demi Lovato will be heartbroken when Joe comes out of the closet.  (Seriously, have you seen those JONAS set pictures?  With the drama and the... kneeling? lollerskates.)  NO WAIT NO that's not what I wanted to say either.

What I wanted to say was, Okay, Doctor Who season five, I'm in.  I know that I broke up with you when Rose left.  I know that I said I was a Nine girl through and through.  I know I watched two episodes of Torchwood and then swore I was done forever and I didn't care how much James Marsters was making out with all the dudes he could find and then smashing people's faces into whiskey glasses.  I know that I said we were over.  BUT BABY, I JUST NEED YOU TO TAKE ME BAAAAAAAAAAACK.

Because I've watched the first three episodes of this season and all I have to say about anything is, YOU COULD HAVE KILLED A STAR WHALE.  Matt Smith, you are so ridiculous looking and you have such ridiculous hair and okay, I would maybe tap that a little bit but mostly I just want to give you a hug and then force you into a shotgun wedding with Amy Pond.  Because Amy Pond?  Is my new homegirl, sister, and lesbian lover.  All at once.  I cannot overstate how much I love Amy Pond and just want to hang out with her all day long and also watch her hang out with the Doctor all day long and secretly be boning him, although I hope to god the show doesn't actually go there because I don't trust the show not to make everything suck really hard, romance-wise.

This is problematic, because I also love her fiancee, just... not as much as I love Eleven and his jammy dodgers and his fits of RAGE.  I don't know, there seems to be a lot of general internet dissatisfaction with the dalek episode (spoilers comin' right up; stop now if you care), and I agree that story-wise it was a little bit nonsensical and kind of lame.  Not to mention that Winston Churchill really annoyed the pants off of me.  But, 'kay, when the Doctor started waling on that dalek with a pipe wrench?  I was on board.  I thought it was exactly the right amount of disgust and desperation and terrible miscalculation, and  YEAH.  If the daleks had come back in a way that wasn't partly the Doctor's fault, I would've been pissed.  And his star whale rage?  EM-EFFING YES.  I loves me a Doctor who cares so much he can't see straight.  AND, on the non-raging side of things... his need to comfort crying children?  Augh, my ovaries.  Bring it, Matt Smith; I am prepared to really like you.

Especially if you decide to elope with Amy Pond.  DO IT FOR THE UNIVERSE, OKAY?  GO SAVE THE STAR WHALES.

Annnnnnd now I'm gonna go attempt to write 2000 words in the next two hours; wish me luck!

Dear dudes/internets/whoever,

I am seriously dying of school and poor judgement calls right now, which is why I have not been reachable by phone, email, internets, or any other method you might have tried.  SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY.  IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Sorry for the tone of intense desperation?  I will let you know immediately when I am available to be less sucky.


Hopefully this isn't a dealbreaker.
In today's edition of Shit Brittany Did Instead of Real Life:

I had a really interesting discussion about incest taboos and fanfiction and the Jonas Brothers.  Like, legits fascinating.  [It is over here at agirlnamedfia 's LJ, just in case you are curious and staring at me like, who is this girl who I thought was an adult and why is she reading Jonas Brothers slashfic.  Well, let me tell you, I WILL TELL YOU WHY.  And so will a bunch of other people who aren't me and who do or do not read it for various reasons.  Oh internet, you're so interesting.]

I am pretty sure that my Joe Jonas default icon + constant yelling about Joe Jonas all day every day at anyone and everyone including my mom...
(UN-JOBROS-RELATED SIDENOTE: OH MY GOD last night I had to explain to my mom what "jizz" meant.  My explanation did not mention Joe Jonas at all; you should be proud.)
... has already outed me as a huge psycho loser deviant freak, but y'know.  Just in case you were in any doubt.

This entry officially contains the words "incest," "jizz," and "Joe Jonas."  I"m pretty sure that's a bingo.

(no subject)
I wish every single thing I was reading right now didn't make me want to pick all my shit up and just... go camping.  Not in a bad way, but.  Um.  It's snowing outside and I've got things to do.  And things I should be done.

BUT INSTEAD I'm illegally downloading things intended for children, so that is... like doing a thing, right? 

:/  <-- This face sums up the entire experience of being me right now.  Pretty sure.

Unrelatedly (OR IS IT???), iTunes needs to add new rating criteria for when the star system just won't cut it.  Like, this song gets three stars, this song gets five stars, this one gets LOLZ stars.  I think I'll write a suggestion letter.

P.S. sorry, I also think I am losing my mind.

Welp, I wish I was about to post about ANYTHING USEFUL.
So, okay, twitter and I are getting married, and we are getting married because of this bit of WTFery:

So how 'bout those Olympics? Pretty sure that happened.
Dear internet, I am having internet guilt today!  Because I went to tropical places for a week (so good!) and then I watched too much olympics and stressed out about school/watched old episodes of So You Think You Can Dance nonstop for a week, and wasn't around and now I feel like I have Missed Important Things on the Internet. 

Which is probably not true.  Maybe.

But you know what is true?  YOU SHOULD BE READING AXE COP RIGHT NOW.  Whatever you're doing, I promise it is not as important as AXE COP, THE GREATEST THING ON THE INTERNET.  If you like things that will make you laugh out loud awkwardly on the bus to yourself when you are staring into traffic thinking about nothing and suddenly you remember that Axe Cop exists and accidentally crack yourself up, then Axe Cop is probably the comic for you.

If you don't enjoy things like that, too bad.  It's probably already too late.  I fully expect you to have stopped reading this entry and clicked on the above link before ever making it as far as this sentence.  If you have not yet clicked on the Axe Cop link, DO IT NOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU.

Plus it's only been going for like, a month, so it won't even take you long to catch up.

More profane than usual, I think it's the sleep deprivation.
I'm outta here to the Dominican Republic for the next week, PEACE IT Y'ALL. 

I have never needed a fucking vacation more in my whole life, because frankly I don't even know what's been kicking my ass so bad for the past month, but I kind of just wanna tell myself to fuck off.  I have officially reached the point where I am just kicking my own ass.


(This is about to be my swimming pool; you should probs be jealous.)


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